Cultural Overlord Wins (Or, a Significant Parenting Victory)

Parenting victory top ten:

My son, his mom and blended family are headed to Los Angeles soon for his step sister's high school graduation. They are going to take advantage of the event and have planned an elaborate and enviable itinerary for a couple weeks (National Parks, a couple colleges, San Fran, the whole nine yards). I didn't have any real input on the sights they will take in, though his mom and I have shared experiences out there.

However, one of my biggest jobs in being the divorced (read: not lived with) dad is the role of Cultural Overlord. I realized early on that if I'm not sharing a home with this constantly morphing young 'un, my options on leaving my imprint are limited. Hence, the Cultural Overlord dictates some avenues of experience - primarily music, movies / TV, and food, in that order.

The latter two have been enhanced in today's tech dependent world. Netflix, Amazon, and a couple gray market sites provide all the necessities. Jaws, The Godfather, Breaking Bad, Preacher have all been required viewing. Food is easy. I eat something I like, I cook it or we go out and get it. It has birthed bonding opportunities like Sunday breakfast at Waffle House, or the opportunity for a home cooked steak, a rarity in a vegetarian household. A boy needs his protein.

Music has been more of a challenge.

I realized very quickly that his experiences at his age were incontrovertibly different from mine. At his age, my world was much different. At 15, he did not own a device that could play a tape, vinyl record, or CD. My experience was totally ownership based, his was streaming.

My earliest musical memories include the portable, indestructible, child's record player. I had a very adequate stereo (turntable, AM/FM, receiver combo) in the 7th grade. My 21st birthday present was a proper component system (Polk speakers, NAD amp, Yamaha cassette and turntable). I had a voluminous record collection, went to concerts, labored for hours over mixed tapes, and for four years of college, hosted a weekly radio show. How was I to convey these critical survival skills to my only spawn? Would this prove to be an irreconcilable void in our shared lives?

Back to the trip...When getting an update about their plans, son 'o mine whips out his phone, wondering who's playing, and sees what concerts are going on while they are in LA. His eyes grew wide, he looked at me with utter astonishment, then showed me his phone.

Dead and Co. at the freakin' Hollywood Bowl. I began laughing hysterically. He looked at his mom, showed her the phone, and said, "CAN WE GO?!?!"

This immediately ticked off several boxes on the Cultural Overlord's scorecard - he knows who Dead and Co. are (he did see Mickey Hart at the Leaf Festival as a very young boy, thanks to his mom), he knows that LA and California are among the cultural jewels and producers in the world, and, most significantly, he appreciates the opportunity to see quality live music at one of the most significant venues in the country.

His mom grinned, looked at me, and said ask your step sister if she wants to go and we'll talk. Solid answer, we saw a few shows together his mom and I. Now, weeks later, they are booking tickets after sorting it all out.

I think I bridged the void.

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